How to Destroy a Bathroom 101

August 6th

Bath time!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, Prada does not like taking a bath. My sheltie, Lady, was too meek to jump out of the bathtub.  Prada does not have this same internal inhibition and proceeded to coat the bathroom and hallway (I’d left the bathroom door open) with wet dog hair and paw prints.
How do you bathe the dog? "Take her to a groomer!" Yeah, that's what I'm doing next time, over Christmas break, but in the summertime bathing her will be my job. Process is as follows.

1. Capture pup and corral her in bathroom. Sandbagging is not necessary but recommended for containing pending flood.
2. Cover bathroom floor in old towels, preferably several layers thereof.
3. Turn on water to mildly warmer temperature.
4. Corner pup and lift her into tub.
5. Recapture pup and lift her into tub.
6. Finally figure out how to fill pitcher under faucet while holding pup still inside tub.
7. Douse puppy thoroughly, avoiding face and ears.
8. Recapture pup.
9. Hold pup with one arm (preferably your stronger arm!) while you drizzle a line of doggy shampoo down her back, from shoulders to base of tail.
10. Work in shampoo while bodily pinning pup to inside wall of tub.
11. Rinse pup while restraining her.
12. Release pup from tub, not into the rest of the house yet!
13. Post flickerage, towel pup off thoroughly, do a quick brush-over, then release pup into the rest of the house.
14. Call local disaster response team to help clean up the flood damage in the bathroom.

The more practical method of destroying a bathroom, of course, is loosing a five-year-old on a sugar high with spray-paint, but if you do not have a five-year-old available this method proves equally effective

These days I have discovered that it is well worth the time to take Prada to a groomer every 3 months or so.  She gets a bath, a trim, her teeth, ears, and nails done, and I get to pay someone else to be the bad guy!  I use the Petsmart Grooming Salon.  Some people have told me horror stories about their dogs coming home with nicks due to bad grooming, but I’ve never had a problem with Prada’s grooming.  I suspect that the nicks are due to bad puppy behavior.  Prada always comes back clean and shiny and happy and with glowing behavior reports.  I used to think paying someone else to groom your dog was kind of lazy, but it takes less time and she gets a lot more done when I let someone else do it!

Additionally, her nails are very dark and very thick; I find it’s more enjoyable and safer for both of us to let a professional do them.  I’ve also started requesting her groomer use the “Furminator” shampoo treatment.  Several uses of the “Furminator” treatment are supposed to help reduce shedding, and it seems to have helped Prada a bit.  Of course, she’s a shepherd and the international shepherd pastime is shedding.  But every little bit helps!  My poor vacuum cleaner…

Each dog owner has their own personal preferences about grooming—independent grooming salon, chain groomer like Petsmart, or doing it themselves.  I choose Petsmart because they meet our needs.  Don’t be afraid to experiment; try a couple of different solutions before you settle on something that works for you and your furry friend.