Compare and Contrast

I have a lot to share with all of you about training, about The Seeing Eye, about Greta, about things I learned incorrectly the first time and bad habits I developed, as well as good habits I plan to keep and things that have stuck with me since my first training in 2009. However, there is one difficult piece of business I must discuss first.

These next few posts will include comparisons and contrasts between Greta and Prada. Service dogs may all be cut from the same cloth, and even sewn into similar shapes, but they are from different bolts, cut and sewn by different people, and given to different people. They are unique, they have unique strengths and weaknesses, they do have weaknesses, and it is not ungrateful, disrespectful, or dishonourable to compare past service dogs. In fact, it’s a natural, and even healthy thing to do.

I say this more to myself than anyone else, because I have felt twinges of guilt as I considered the differences between my two girls, and more so when I spoke of these differences. But I also say this to those wonderfully intelligent and observant people in my life who have already hesitantly voiced their observations of Miss Greta’s personality, appearance, and behaviour. It’s ok, you’re not picking a “favourite child.” Tell me what you think – nicely, and with good timing and purpose – and please don’t fear that I will be upset about someone thinking Greta performs one task better than Prada, or that she performs another tasks less effectively. There may be days when my grief is keener than others, so please bear timing in mind, but beyond that, with courtesy, kindness, and curiosity in your intentions and delivery, please feel free to explore this new aspect of life with a service dog.

When I returned to TSE this year, I returned as part of the informal “retrains club.” We do things differently than rookies, we see things differently. We’ve become gun-shy, or more confident, or both. We’ve lost, and know we will again. We’ve learned just how much we have left to learn, developed bad habits, either conscious or unconscious ones. Often both. And we all have, at some point, even against our wills, compared one dog to another in our histories. I listened to the retrains who had come back for their fifth, sixth, and even seventh dogs, and I heard twinges of that same guilt I felt, then the resolve to push past it and accept it as a natural evolution of life as a service dog handler. This observation encouraged me as I wrestled with my own feelings on the subject. Comparing Prada to future dogs does not honour her memory. In fact, more often than not I will discover that I developed many of her weaknesses into her training through bad habits or misunderstanding of training. That, too, of course brings with it a level of guilt with which I must come to grips.

I can do it, though. I can examine my own mistakes, sloppiness, and confusion through the eyes of a senior considering her freshman year at college, when everything was huge and new and terrifying and exhilarating beyond description, so vivid and important that it seemed impossible to manage everything at once and still retain composure. The trick is to convert guilt into learning moments, to be excited by growth rather than entangled in guilt.

Ok, that was a weak attempt at diction symmetry. Let’s skip that for now.

My point is, comparisons and contrasts will happen, they are natural for both me and you, so we should together allow ourselves to benefit from this natural experience rather than be damaged by it.