Take a Deep Breath

Greta and I have been home for two weeks now. I meant to post more often, but as you can imagine, settling a new dog into a new house is a bit of a handful! In addition to that, I’ll admit to feeling a considerable amount of frustration and discouragement through my first couple of weeks here. It’s not the most glamourous way to begin a working dog relationship, but it does happen so I’d like to share it with you, for those of you who are considering getting service dogs, or have experienced the same thing and wondered if it were normal. It is. It’s very normal. No, I don’t have any research or teachings to support that; I’ve just logicked it out on my own, and the idea of it being abnormal was depressing so I decided it was normal… It makes sense that it would be normal, and it’s depressing if it’s not normal, therefore I say it is! “If the shape of the universe is uncertain, and the odds of it being beautiful are just as likely as those of it being ugly, decide it is beautiful, because it is easier to live in a beautiful universe than an ugly one, and why should we put effort into making our lives more difficult?”

So what exactly have I just declared to be normal? Coming home to the “real world” out of the carefully designed environment of The seeing Eye and suddenly wondering if you have what it takes to maintain a service dog’s training, to work safely with the dog, to care for the dog, wondering if your lifestyle is enough to keep the dog happy, or is it too much work, too confusing and difficult for the dog? Can you really remember to groom the dog every day, play with her, make sure she gets enough exercise, keep a regular park-time schedule? Is your life too chaotic for a routine-oriented dog? Or are you too routine-oriented for a dog that needs a mental challenge?

I just moved to a new house in a new neighborhood. I hardly know where anything is in the house, and I have yet to explore the neighborhood for good walking routes, stray dogs, et cetera, and I know there are no sidewalks in the neighborhood. That’s not a deal-breaker; I can do country work. It’s just not ideal. Greta and Bailey, while very good friends now, are a bit rowdy together and aren’t allowed to play unsupervised yet, let alone enjoy freedom in the house together. And Percy, the cat? Oh, he and Greta have yet to sort themselves out yet. Percy is much warier of Greta than he has been of other dogs in the past (perhaps because she’s about twice as big as any dog he’s met, or because they’ve only met under human-controlled circumstances), and Greta is quite terrified of Percy, but determined to tattle on him when he gets up on the kitchen countertops.

I’m not working right now, though I have resumed my job hunt. I go to church and martial arts classes, I go out with friends, but I still find myself scrounging for opportunities to work Greta.

Fresh from The Seeing Eye, an environment full of buildings, people, activities, and animals designed to support me and Greta in our budding relationship, this chaotic, crowded, uncertain and unfamiliar environment felt overwhelming. My ears ring with cautionary statements about stray dogs, getting enough work for the dog, the importance of schedules and daily grooming. Do I feel some pressure? You bet! Is some of it laid on by my own sense of responsibility? Oh yes. Is it an undue amount of pressure? Probably.

This is the real world. We’re out of the lab, gravity and friction apply now (salute to physics textbook writers everywhere!). It’s time to customize my relationship with Greta to suit my life. Daily grooming? Yes, I’ll give it a try. Prada hated it, but Greta doesn’t. I certainly won’t cry if I miss a day or two in a week, though. Park Schedule? Greta insists on that fairly strongly, so no need to set any alarms. Prada was much less regulated, that worked for her. Greta is an alarm-pup that goes off between 0530 and 0600 every day. Fine by me. If I want to sleep in, we go back to bed after she parks and gets breakfast. We’re already figuring out how to adjust to one another’s needs in the “real world.”

Is she getting enough work? Well, in the two weeks I’ve had her, I haven’t noticed a decline in work quality. If we don’t get to work on a day, she gets to run outside with Bailey a bit more so she gets plenty of exercise. Obedience drills? Ah, well…I’ve been a bit less regular about that, but just because I haven’t been regular doesn’t mean I can’t pick it up again. I look at it a little like going to the gym; if you get upset because you miss a day, you’ll be less motivated to do it again in the future. Reward yourself when you succeed, encourage yourself when you forget, and remind yourself that it is important, but not life-determining.

Perspective. That’s what it took me two weeks to gather. Perspective helped me “buck up” a bit and get past the discouragement. I can do this. My home life doesn’t look like life at TSE, that’s ok. The dogs are meant to live in our home lives, not at TSE their whole lives.

So, feeling overwhelmed with your new dog at home, or wondering if you can handle a dog at all? Go ahead and allow yourself to feel that way for a little bit. It’s a huge adjustment that impacts every part of your life. It’s a big deal! But when you’ve had your momentary freak-out, be done with it. Buck up, get some perspective, and remember that your home life will, and should, look different than life in training. It should look like your life. Dogs are tough critters; they can handle a little chaos now and again.

 

No animals were harmed in the making of this photo. In fact, Miss Greta climbed into the tub of her own volition, twice! I just thought her expression represented my own feelings right now pretty well J