That sounds like the beginning of a
great joke, right? Something witty or cynical, or witty and cynical, ought to
follow it! Honestly, I haven’t a clue how to end that joke. I feel like it has
an awesome ending, but I can’t think of it! Suggestions please?
Anyway, the potential for humour crossed
my mind while unpacking and arranging my new room in the house my husband and I
just moved in to. We’re now living with a couple of friends of ours; one of our
friends is bound for the Marine Corps in a few weeks and he doesn’t want his
girlfriend to live by herself while they wait until they can get married, so
Derek and I are now living with her and her cat (Percy, aka devil cat) and dog
Bailey (some sort of terrier mix, very sweet). So, I had the house to myself
the evening after we moved in and I set to work unpacking boxes, moving boxes,
rearranging boxes, lifting boxes on top of one another…I feel boxed in!
Ok, that was too obvious, sorry. I’m
tired.
Anyway, one of the bulbs in the overhead
in our room was out, and the surviving bulb is a typical yellow-light bulb that
doesn’t give off enough light for someone as blind as I am (remember, not
totally blind, just mostly). Add to that the floor is a medium-to-dark
hardwood, the closet doors and bedroom door and window trim are all dark, and
my husband and I put up dark curtains to prevent the light from waking Derek at
early morning hours (he works till 11pm or later some nights, he gets to sleep
in). So the room was pretty dark and I had a hard time functioning, tripping
over boxes, falling on boxes, stubbing my toes on boxes… And the occasional
less-forgiving piece of furniture. We bought light-bulbs earlier today, bright “day
light” bulbs, so I decided to put them in. Now, I’m a married woman, a woman
married to a very tall man. Women married to very tall men generally do not
trouble themselves with the easy-but-annoying-and-often-precarious task of
changing light bulbs. I’d have to climb onto something, when he can just stand
there, so why not let him since it’s easier? I’m perfectly capable, I’ve
changed dozens of bulbs in my lifetime, so it’s not a sexism or disability
battle I need to fight. Besides – it’s just a lightbulb! Who cares if someone
thinks it’s sexist that men stereotypically are in command of light-bulb
changing operations? Not that big a deal, really. But, I’m home alone, the room
is frustratingly dark, and I have a stable base to climb on. Out with the old,
in with the new, and hey! Presto! I have a brilliantly lit room and potential
for a great joke that I’m too tired to finish! Help!
Seriously, it’s really bugging me that I
can’t find a proper ending for that joke!
I even googled it, and I found a list of
light bulb disability jokes. I’m posting them here,
but I warn you, these are NOT for sensitive readers. There’s no profanity or
obscenity or inappropriate content, but these are very, very cynical. I found many of them very entertaining, but I
recognise that this style of humour isn’t for everyone, so consider yourself
warned before you read them. For those of you less sensitive to that sort of
humour, please enjoy!
Unfortunately, the blind person version
is very disappointing. I even scrolled thorugh a few more links of lightbulb
jokes and couldn’t find that perfect, snappy little ending. I can’t be the only
person who thought this joke needed a witty ending! Come on…anyone?
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