Sovereignty and Service Dogs

Remember back in the early days when I struggled with insecurity about Prada’s devotion to me and only me? When I first brought her home from The Seeing Eye she seemed to fixate on my mother, so I asked Mom to ignore Prada the way her trainer had to during our training together. As you’ll read in the annotations of those entries, I probably needn’t have worried as much as I did, but I still think the exercise was worthwhile. If nothing else, it’s prepared me for the situation in which I find myself now.

In my last entry I introduced you to my new furry housemates, Bailey (dog) and Percy (cat). I’d like to focus on Bailey and the complex process and impacts of introducing a service dog to a house that is already occupied by at least one canine resident. This will probably require multiple entries, so for right now I would like to limit my discussion to sovereignty, which seems like an awfully big, archaic word to apply to the situation. It does apply, though. Bailey has been the sole proprietor of all canine-oriented affection in this house for over a year now. She is a sweet, submissive dog in general, but very jealous of that attention. Whenever Prada and I came for a visit, Bailey repeatedly shoved Prada out of the way to occupy my petting hand. Prada would sometimes shove right back, but generally she would slink off to a corner with a very annoyed huff, glowering at Bailey over her shoulder the whole time. I did my best to discourage Bailey and call Prada back to me, but at a certain point I’d have to decide between visiting with my friends or refereeing the dogs. Prada was a good 20 lbs. heavier than Bailey, but service dogs are, in general, trained to be submissive to other dogs in order to avoid turf wars and issues of dominance with the handler. So Prada would get pushed around.

I’d like to take a moment here and make sure you understand that Bailey was not trained or encouraged to do this by her owners. In fact, they scolded her repeatedly for it, and Bailey is generally an extremely well-behaved dog. But she was a stray for at least a year of her life, and shows evidence of past abuse during that period, so she is absolutely desperate for love and attention. When she doesn’t receive affirmation, it’s plain to see she fears she will be permanently rejected, so this jealousy is almost an instinct of self-preservation. Her current owners have been firm and patient in training her and loving her, and I expect that when she’s a couple of years older she won’t be quite so insecure. But, though it’s not as severe in dogs as it is in humans, abuse victims need time to develop a sense of security and trust. Bailey is young, and her formative behavioural conditioning was less than pleasant. It takes time to rewrite that kind of programming. And if it sounds like I’m anthologizing her behaviour a bit too much, anthropomorphizing it more than is necessary, I’m about a year into an MA in counseling and this is a common side effect. I’ll grow out of it with experience, I expect.

Anyway…

I’m about to leave for TSE again. I leave on Monday, and I couldn’t be more excited! And in less than three weeks I will bring home a new, young, enthusiastic partner to live with us. Bailey will have a canine playmate, Percy will have another canine subject. I am, however, concerned that Bailey will resume her attempts to monopolies all human affection in the house. And while this was frustrating with Prada, a dog I had loved and worked with for five-six years, this could be extremely confusing and frustrating and even depressing for a brand new dog. Junior will not be as secure in my love as Prada was. The stress of moving from the TSE kennels to the house, then from there to the house here in Huntsville, having a new Number One (me) instead of the beloved trainer, having lots of new human roommates and a new dog and cat to navigate will be challenging enough without having to fight for the love and attention so desperately craved by these partners.

And so I have made the painful decision that for the week leading up to my departure and the first few weeks after I return, I need to do as I asked my mom to do. I need to ignore Bailey as much as possible to send the message that she does not own me and my attention. She does not have the right to demand my affection, or even ask for it, and certainly not to drive off other creatures from accepting it. This has been very unpleasant for both myself and Bailey thus far, and it posed two logistical challenges I hadn’t anticipated.

1)                  Bailey is short, and I have no peripheral vision. If I am to avoid eye-contact with her or acknowledging her in any way, I have to avoid looking down when I know she’s nearby, and that makes her more of a tripping hazard, which isn’t good for either of us!

2)                  I like to get up early most mornings, and since moving in with our friends, I’ve taken to getting up, taking Bailey outside for her morning business, bringing her back in, then petting her while reading in the nice quiet morning hours. But once I made the decision to ignore her, sitting downstairs in the living room with my iPad to read has become a test of my will to ignore her pleading whine and soft, nudging head against my leg. So I find myself lying in bed awake and waiting for my husband to get up (he works late nights so he gets to sleep in) before I can get up and start work for the day at my desk, housed less than two feet from the bed. I miss my morning reading and yoga when no one else is up in the house, though the thought occurred to me this morning (two mornings before I leave) that I could get up and let Bailey outside and leave her there in the yard, since the weather’s nice. That shouldn’t damage her belief that she can’t demand attention from me, but clears the living room for my solitary morning ritual. I’ll have to try that tomorrow morning.

I will have to keep up the habit of ignoring Bailey for a few weeks when I get home with the new dog in order to solidify their understanding of the pack hierarchy, but I look forward to encouraging the dogs to play together and being able to lavish loving attention on both of them, though not in equal measures. In this scenario, it is ok and even encouraged to pick your favourite “kid,” so to speak. I expect Bailey and junior will get along very well after the initial period of establishing pack dominance is over, and there is potential for cute photos of both dogs and the cat curled up together on the giant dog bed we have set aside for when the final four-footed family member moves in (apparently Percy and Bailey already sleep together sometimes, so there is precedent for such photos). Yes, I’ll share these with you, too J.